You cannot control what happens to you, you can only control how you react to it.
This blog is especially is committed to turning our loss into love, and our worry in our work as it relates to facing the odds as single parent families.
3 Defining Principles are
1. Love When Love is Not What You Have Received.
2. Help Others As You Help Yourself
3. Leave a Positive Legacy for Your Children
It’s 7am, my son knocking on my bedroom door: “Mom, I need a Christmas shirt - do you have one I can wear to school today?”
Quickly I run to my closet and dig through shirts, gym clothes, and unmentionables to find nothing; my insides stirring, I look up and see it - The Answer! Quickly I leap across the living room and grab last year’s Santa hat and reindeer antlers draped on the mantle and rush to present them to my son; after a few seconds inspection he says, “… I guess that will work…” and walks out to his car, tie-dyed backpack on his shoulder and festive hat/antlers on his head. After we trade caring “Love You’s”, I hang for a second on the moment – a pause to watch him get in his car and drive away. I think about how he’s always been flexible with me, as if he just knows I am doing all I can for him, and for all of us. My mom-eyes fill with mom-tears, and I’m forced to let the moment go and rush off to work myself.
This year, at our annual Christmas Banquet for Single Parent Advocate, our topic was heroes. We asked parents and children to identify the heroes in their lives.
Hero: a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities
Many families talked about their coaches, teachers, parents, and role models at work or in other places of their lives. Some turned to their faith and express God’s heroism, of course.
But I could not help but think about our children – the kids raised in single parent homes. There are so very many of them. 25% of America’s youth, in fact. These kids stick it out with their parents in overcoming significant loss, crushing economic challenges, and time crunches that keep them racing and sometimes on the sidelines at school and in life.
While there are many statistics that talk about the negative things that become of children raised in a single parent home, I have to say, that while those things might be true – there is an alternative occurring. It is very real.
Many kids raised in single parent homes overcome incredible odds and become incredibly successful, creative, responsible, and cooperative human beings filled with grace and resourcefulness. What a gift to us. Our children truly are our greatest gift. I acknowledge them for being brave, for never giving up, for always being understanding.
So, this Christmas, we may not have been able to give the exact things we want to give, or our kids had in mind to receive. And this may really bother us, just like it did me earlier today when I couldn’t find a shirt for my son. If that is the case, I hope we can grow past it, and remember what heroes our kids are, and what gifts they are to us. I hope we are brave, and we ask for help in providing for their needs and wants from God and from area resources.
But I also hope, we are humble, and give them the gift of recognition – and acknowledge what is good in them. Give them the gift our time and attention. Listen to their hopes and dreams. And above all else, give them the gift of Faith, and fill them full of God’s Word and His promises.
• Proverbs 17:6 (NIV)
Childrenʼs children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
• Psalm 127:3 (NIV)
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.